Day 4

I'm not sure if it's ok for me to post, or if I should just comment. But I think it'll be ok if I post :D

It's been 4 days since I started my fast and I was planning to fast just Youtube, Hulu, and any other source of online videos, movies, shows, etc. But as each day past, I found (don't really know if say ing "God helped me realize" because it just doesn't feel like that yet) that there are more things in my life that take up a lot of my time. So on Day 2, I decided to fast Facebook, too. Then as Day 3 rolled by, I would tell myself that I could never give up music because music is a passion of mine. Yet again, I felt the need to give up music. I limited myself to Christian/Worship music, of course, and to instrumentals. And yes, someone told me "That's the same thing, you just dont listen to the lyrics. You just sing along with it." But I'm not talking about those kind of intrumentals. I'm talking about instrumentals such as Nujabes or this guy I found on YouTube (thankfully it was before the fast) named Soulostar. If you're not fasting YouTube, you should give them a listen. I wanted these kinds of songs so I can express my own feelings and lyrics to God because sometimes, worship songs just doesn't hit the stop. Not that they aren't good or anything, but there are times where my own words just mean so much more.

In these 4 days, I learned that prayer to me is so generic. It's too bland, if you catch my drift. People say, "I pray to God" or "Hope He answers my prayer." I realized in the past few years, I wouldn't "pray" but rather "talk" to God. I know you might be thinking, "it's the same thing." No it's not. Talking to God makes me more comfortable. When I was younger, my mom would make fun of my for being fat. T.T She would say that I won't have any friends or whatnot. Obviously she was joking, but I took it kinda seriously. And come Sunday Worship, or retreat, my favorite song to sing was "Jesus, you are my best friend." I would cry everytime I sang that song, laughing at my mom, telling her that I do have friends. (Dang, I just started crying when I was writing this and I'm in the library. HAHA :]) And you don't "pray" to you're friends, you talk to them. Asking them how their day was and what they did. Sometimes God needs to be asked that once in a while. He doesn't need to hear the same redundant thing over and over again. When I need to talk and no one is around, I would talk to God, telling Him what happened during school today or whatever.

Oh, I wanted to add was, I thought about doing any variation of the Daniel Fast. But everything I think about it, I would think about the end goal, which is to lose weight and that would defeat the whole purpose of fasting. But to think that I would be gluttonous is bad thinking too, considering that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. (If you're not fasting movies, you should watch "se7en" or "7" or "seven" all the same.) But yea....

...I don't really know how this works. This is the first blog I ever posted/written/done, etc.
Sorry if my blog doesn't flow well. I just wanted to write what's been happening these past 4 days. As the fasting continues, maybe I'll get better at posting :D

He will give you comfort in times of trouble. He will give you hope in times of despair.
He will give you strength in times of weakness. No matter what, He will be there.